In life it is easy to get into a holding pattern. We say to ourselves when we have enough money, get a new job, get married, get divorced, have kids, the kids leave home, and the list goes on. We find ourselves in a holding pattern right now. RangerSir and I find ourselves saying when we get into the house. In reality that is a long way away and a lot of time to waste waiting.
I had not thought we were living life in a holding pattern until I got my local library card and checked out some books. I got an assortment of books: cookbooks, house organizing, watercolor painting and a retirement book. It was the retirement book that made me realize that I was putting most of my life on hold. Yes we were settled in our temporary quarters. Yes there are a lot things we can not do. But there are somethings you can do that will move you forward in the continuum of life.
I realized that journaling, cooking, painting and other creative outlets I was pursuing daily was not really moving me forward. As much I love them and the fact that often they were the only thing between me and insanity of boredom, there were not moving me forward. These are activities I do most days home, travel or in an apartment waiting for our house to be done. I realized that these were part of me. There were like breathing. I needed them desperately in these times, but they were not moving me forward.
There are lots of things we can’t do like signing up for our utilities and getting our homeowner’s insurance. Somehow we focused on those things and let it obscure what we could be doing. We could update our legal paperwork i.e. wills, health directives, pick a dentist, find an primary care doctor and so much more. We do not have to wait until we get into the house to do things like this. It doesn’t matter that we are living in an apartment in a town 50 miles from our final destination.
So don’t confuse a busy life with a life moving forward. They are not the same thing. You can busy and just existing. Don’t wait moving forward even if it is little steps.
The book I was reading is “Who Will Take Care of Me When I am Old?” by Joyce Loverde. It was not full of pages of things RangerSir and I had not thought about. It was full of reminders of what we had done right, what we might want to revisit, and even a few things that had never crossed our mind. I have since returned the book to the library and purchased a used copy for lifetime reference. I recommend it it. Planning for aging is never easy. It is a good reference.
Looking Out the Window 
Very helpful post, I plan to read Who Will Take Care of Me When I am Old? It’s so easy to binge watch a show on Netflix and not be taking care of the important stuff.
I am thinking that our copy will arrive today. I ordered it from a used book store on the East coast. I think that folks sometimes think only those of us without children have to worry about things like this, but honestly all of us really do have the same things to plan for.
Holding patterns can be a time of personal growth but also of moving forward in whatever way you can. I hope you find many ways to do that while waiting for your house to be built.
Moving forward is still slow. It is easier to do nothing because moving forward is part of the realization we are getting older and lots of things need to be planned for.
From your choice of books- you will be totally ready when you get there! Along with all the other preparations you are making… can’t wait!
I am hoping my copy of the book shows up today. I ordered it from a used book store on the East coast. I hate that needing this book means I am on the flip side of life.