A year ago I was heading to my employer’s conference for the last time before I was off onto the next chapter of my life. It seems impossible that year has passed. It feels impossible that much time has passed because I thought things would be much more clear than they are a year later. I would be at my new destination whatever that was. Instead I am still on my journey.
This year I have been reminded and have had to remind myself more than once: “We tend to gravitate to the familiar even if it is not what we say we want. “
When change comes we tend to worry about the impact of the unknown negatively to our lives. We allow ourselves to get knotted up in the worry about the possibility of experiencing failure. Change can also feel like the loss of part of our identity, especially when the change is our job, something that has filled more than eight hours of our life daily. Change is often the loss of control. We tend to think the familiar no matter how good or bad for us is better than the unknown.
I am still moving through the continuum of a major life change. I have surrounded myself with lots of new people who don’t know me from my previous life. New people in my life have instigated some of the greatest growth for me. As a working adult most of our new social acquaintances and friends are as a result of work. When you hang out with work friends there is a whole list of taboo subjects, because you seek a certain amount of peace and harmony in the workplace. When you no longer have a job, you realize, if you did not before, that the connection to these people was your job and without that you don’t seek one another out. It sounds a little cruel an uncaring, but I don’t think it is bad. It is when you take the work commonality out of the equation that you start to seek out people who you are truly interested in or have a commonality central to your core. I call it seeking your tribe. There are all sorts of definitions of a tribe, but this one from Ainslie, really captures it for me.
I define a tribe as a group of people who share similar values and interests.When you’re a part of your ideal tribe you feel a great sense of kinship. You’re surrounded by people you can genuinely connect with and you can comfortably be yourself. A tribe is also a supportive space in which you can grow and thrive.
This year I will be sharing some of the experiences that go along with seeking your tribe.