Mystical & Yet Melancholy

imag3268One night coming home from work last week I was taken aback by the beauty of the moon rise.   It was so amazing to see the clouds that were sneaking in to cover parts of it.   I so wanted to capture it and share it.   The way the clouds moved back and forth covering the moon and then not was  like a magical show of nature. The colors of the night were like a blanket covering night sky and snow-cover lands alike.  it was almost indecipherable where the sky ended and the horizon started.   The color was a blue of melancholy, sadness, loneliness and yet so peaceful.

I talked myself out of stopping my truck and taking a picture until I was nearly home.   The reasons were many for not taking the picture.  It was approaching night so the light wasn’t good, but that is what made the sight so special.  I  didn’t have the right set up to take the photo, I had just a phone.  The picture  wasn’t framed right and there were things in the picture I really didn’t want. It was bitter cold and I was dressed to commute, not stand outside for an extended period of time.  Dinner was waiting.   The list in my mind was a mile long as I continued to look at that moon and watching the changing images as the clouds moved in and out.

I recently started a new creative set of classes for 2017 and my statement his year is: Change the Pattern of Your Life.  It hit me.  I was letting the same pattern of excuses make me not take a chance and see what would happen.  When I was just a 1/4-mile from home I finally I just got out and took a half dozen shots.   None of them will make National Geographic, but I did it. It doesn’t capture the sight as I saw it, but it still serves as a medium to share something of that night with others.  I did not let the pattern of letting the same reasons for not doing something continue to drive me and prevent me from trying.

Do you let a very  repeatable list of reasons prevent you from trying something?   Does your selftalk sound like a parrot repeating the words over and over?  When was the reason you tell yourself for not trying something a new reason, not the same reason you told yourself 100 times over?   Challenge yourself to explore, do something that those comfortable reasons say not to.   Don’t let the pattern of your life prevent you from living it.

If you are interested in the class I am taking samples of my creative work and information on the class can be found about it on my other blog Playing Without Limits.


Where were you?

Fourty-five years ago today was the historic moment when man first stepped on the moon.   I was a young girl and not in to all that space stuff, like my husband was, yet I can remember that day. It was a defining moment in history of what we could do if we set our minds to it.

July 20, 1969 Man on the moon.

I was at the cabin on Pike Bay in northern Minnesota.   It was a cabin like so many at that time, without running water or telephone.   I had been there many times and would be there many more, yet this was the only time that we ever had a TV at the cabin.   The portable television with tinfoil on the rabbit ears sat next to the Victrola.  Granny, Uncle Phil and I sat on three hardback kitchen chairs around the snow screen watching Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon as a Super8 movie camera on a tripod captured it all.

Space travel was real and walking on the moon seemed possible, but until it happened it was just a wee be incredulous.   Suddenly it was real, it had happened and I had seen it.   We, the US of A,  had done it.   As a family full of military men it was a moment of great pride because we had done it first.  We had won the space race ahead of the Russian, in the midst of the Cold War.

It was an amazing time and I got to experience it.

Time to Learn More

I have a 7am physical therapy appointment twice a week in town and until last week my shoulder was immobilized.  It meant I needed a chauffeur with all the wicked weather and nasty road conditions we have had as of late.     It mean RangerSir and I  I have been spending lots of time in the car together.      Road time  is often spent by couples listening to the radio, talking about friends or family and sharing the trials of the job.

Since I don’t enjoy driving RangerSir and I developed a different road routine long ago.  We did this partly because driving long distances can become monotonous and memorizing.    Many of the places we have traveled have no radio coverage over the years, so all we have are one another. We ask “What if?”  It is a game of sorts where you ask questions.    It has allowed us to keep in touch with one another’s wishes, dreams, thoughts and evolving opinions.   We have asked  everything  you can imagine.   In nearly 38 years some of our answers have stayed the same while others have evolved with our lives.    It never gets old and the questions never quit coming.    Some of the things that we have asked over the years.

  • You won the lottery and have to travel abroad where would you go?
  • Money no option where would you retire?
  • Who was your best boss ever?
  • In our present reality where would you like to retire?
  • Which relative of your spouse do you most enjoy chatting with?
  • Who would you invite to dinner who is dead?
  • Worst president since you have been alive?
  • If you could give me any gift what would you give me?
  • What place have you visited that I haven’t, do you want to take me to?
  • Which house/condo/apartment we living in had the best neighborhood?  (Since we have been together we have lived in nine places)
  • Who did you vote for you wished you didn’t in retrospect?
  • What would be your perfect meal?
  • What food did not not expect to like but do?
  • What is your perfect vehicle?
  • Worst US city you have visited?
  • What is your favorite book?
  • Best stupid gadget.

You get my drift.   It is a most amazing insight to a person you have lived with and think you know.  One would think not much would surprise me after all the years and all the questions.    In many ways it has helped us to stay in touch and on the same plane as we evolved.  When it came time to transfer with the Forest Service, we both knew it was coming and where we wanted to go and why.    When we bought vehicles we were on the same page, no discussion.   It made it possible to each of us to buy a house sight unseen for the spouse.    When I changed jobs, RangerSir knew it was coming long before I talked about it.    It makes gift buying much more insightful and personal, but makes it possible to find that perfect quirky gift.

Yet occasionally there are still surprise answers to questions.   I asked RangerSir last week, what secret goal are you likely to not achieve?     He told me it  was to go into space.   That was a “Boy Howdy” moment.   I knew my husband was fascinated with space, and he considered the walking on the moon a pivotal moment in his life.   He has been a sci-fi, the space kind, TV and book junkie all his life.   But I would never have guessed that like old Walter Cronkite he had aspirations to travel into space.   I am not sure that there is anything I can do to support that dream, but it just go to show that there are some dreams we hold on to nearly forever.   It also reminds me that when you have a committed relationship you always need to be listening to your partner.   You never know what you don’t now and there is always time to learn more.