Mystical & Yet Melancholy

imag3268One night coming home from work last week I was taken aback by the beauty of the moon rise.   It was so amazing to see the clouds that were sneaking in to cover parts of it.   I so wanted to capture it and share it.   The way the clouds moved back and forth covering the moon and then not was  like a magical show of nature. The colors of the night were like a blanket covering night sky and snow-cover lands alike.  it was almost indecipherable where the sky ended and the horizon started.   The color was a blue of melancholy, sadness, loneliness and yet so peaceful.

I talked myself out of stopping my truck and taking a picture until I was nearly home.   The reasons were many for not taking the picture.  It was approaching night so the light wasn’t good, but that is what made the sight so special.  I  didn’t have the right set up to take the photo, I had just a phone.  The picture  wasn’t framed right and there were things in the picture I really didn’t want. It was bitter cold and I was dressed to commute, not stand outside for an extended period of time.  Dinner was waiting.   The list in my mind was a mile long as I continued to look at that moon and watching the changing images as the clouds moved in and out.

I recently started a new creative set of classes for 2017 and my statement his year is: Change the Pattern of Your Life.  It hit me.  I was letting the same pattern of excuses make me not take a chance and see what would happen.  When I was just a 1/4-mile from home I finally I just got out and took a half dozen shots.   None of them will make National Geographic, but I did it. It doesn’t capture the sight as I saw it, but it still serves as a medium to share something of that night with others.  I did not let the pattern of letting the same reasons for not doing something continue to drive me and prevent me from trying.

Do you let a very  repeatable list of reasons prevent you from trying something?   Does your selftalk sound like a parrot repeating the words over and over?  When was the reason you tell yourself for not trying something a new reason, not the same reason you told yourself 100 times over?   Challenge yourself to explore, do something that those comfortable reasons say not to.   Don’t let the pattern of your life prevent you from living it.

If you are interested in the class I am taking samples of my creative work and information on the class can be found about it on my other blog Playing Without Limits.

 

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Life Isn’t Fair

it_20may_20have_20escaped_20your_20notice_20but_20life_20isnt_20fair_originalI have tried in the six years I have blogged to avoid religion and politics, mostly because I believe you have a right to yours and I have have right to mine.  Odds are I am not going to change your mind and you are not going to change mine.   Today I was pushed around the bend when the news coverage this morning was all about a candidate who felt he was being treated unfairly.

When a small child replies “That’s not fair,” most of us ignore the child until they get over it. Children need to learn things don’t always go the way they want.   I have on many occasions felt that life was not fair.   Yet I got up and went to work. My employer and co-workers depended on me.   I had bills to pay.   Just because I felt something wasn’t fair, opting out was not an option.   I have had times when I made a commitment assuming something and later discovered that wasn’t what I had though.   It did not seem fair that I may have possibly been misled, yet I showed up.   Just because I think something isn’t fair doesn’t make me right or what I think true.

So to the press who thinks giving lots of air time to someone because they think they were not treated fairly, I would prefer you stop it.   Treat this circumstance the same ways as if it was said by  a five-year-old and ignore him and this too will pass. To the man who refuses to participate because he perceives he was not treated fairly here is the reality:  Life isn’t fair.  Suck it up and get over it.  You will not get to do this if you get the job you are asking for.  I am sure that each of the 44 US presidents had many a times they thought things were not fair to them or our country.   Lastly to those who are evaluating this man as a possible candidate for our highest office,  really do you want someone who does not understand you can’t check out because life isn’t fair?

My hat is off to all of you who have had those moments of life feeling very unfair and persevering and moving past it. It stinks and sometimes it is hard,  but the reality is life isn’t always fair.   We all move on in spite of that.

Infamous Glass of Water

How many sayings are there about that infamous glass of water and how full it is or isn’t?   This morning as I lay in bed, I got to thinking about this glass and the water in it.   It isn’t about perspective, meaning do you look at the glass half full or half empty.    It is about that water and what you do with it.    Sometimes you can have a full glass of water, but it has had so much added to it to make it full that it is just a brown muddied mess.  You don’t really want to deal with the water in your glass  because it makes your life more difficult.   Your glass of water is of little value to you as it is.   It isn’t bringing you joy or helping to make your life any easier, more fulfilling or interesting.   When your glass of water gets cloudy or dirty it might be the right time to dump most of it out and start over.

You may refill your glass with serendipitous rain or snowflakes that you catch,  you may get a little water from a friend’s glass, or maybe you have access to a tap and that is how your replenish your water.  No matter how your get your water it is adding some freshness to your life.   It may be completely clear, like a new pallet for you to fill in or it may be infused  with some glorious color from your friend to help you get on your way.  Likely even if you can’t see it there is some color from the past still in there, a piece of your soul looking to shine again.

2015 was a year when I realized that my glass may have been full maybe even overflowing, but my glass of water had so many things in it that it had turned brown and muddied.  Just because I was good at something did not mean I should do it if it was not my passion or did not bring some joy to my existence.   Just because it was financially easier did not mean that I should not explore the economic  harder road.   People pleasing and peace making isn’t always best.   What appears to be the easy road, may actually be the harder road.

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It isn’t always possible to walk away from things, because life has certain obligations of family, food, shelter and essentials of existence.   I know from experience even if you can make a change  it usually isn’t easy or comfortable. I also have learned that sometimes the best thing you can do is dump out some of that water in your glass, maybe be just a little or possibly nearly all of your water.   There is not a magic amount to let go.  No sure answer what is the right amount of water for your glass at this time.   The right amount for your glass of water in life is ever changing.

2015 was a year of so much change.   I emptied most of my glass.   I was sure that by now I would have an answer and my life would be on easy street and make lots of sense.   Instead I have learned so much about myself and what is possible.  Yet I am not sure what the answer is or if I already have found  it.  I find myself occasionally dancing out in the rain holding my glass to see what drops from the sky I might catch and loving every minute of the dangerous exposure of falling or making a fool of myself.   Other times I have had people share a splash of their brightly colored water with me and found unexpected joy.    In 2015  I have also found that my true friends and family are there cheering me on as I explore my life and my ever changing glass of water. I find myself adding colors to my glass of water and watching the sunlight of life filter through it and guide me on my way.   Sunlight is different each day and each hour.    Life is the same ever changing.  Sometimes I still find the need to pour out some of the water from glass again, unsure if it is right thing to do, but knowing that no matter what I will survive the change.

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In 2016 I want to be open to the possibilities and what I can do with my glass of water.    I want to share my glass of water with others.    I want to accept the joy and wonder that I find with what I have in that glass of water  and all the colors in it that is my life.    I am hoping that in 2016 you too will enjoy your glass however full it maybe and open yourself to the possibilities of what you may do with that crazy glass water you have called life.

 

Phases of Life

Our lives are a lot like the phases of the moon.  There is a beginning, middle, and end.  It starts small, is big in the middle and is small  but in a completely different way in the end.

The first growing phases of the moon are the waxing phases.   As an infant we are born concerned about the simplest of  life’s necessities food and sleep.   We are a little sliver of life at the beginning of it all, surrounded by the love of our family.  Each moment, each day, each year we grow.   As we grew up we became more involved in the world and our lives become fuller. Our growth is moulded by our family, friends and life experiences.

At some point, I am not sure when, our life reaches its fullest.  Our personal full moon.  It is a different time for each of us.   To say it was when we met the love of our life, or when our children or grandchildren were born,  when  you sold your first painting or book, or finished a race is too simple.   That moment of your full moon, our lives are at their  largest, brightest and though we often don’t know this is the best time of our lives.  We love ourselves, understand ourselves and have true joy in life.  We radiate that joy we have found.

Then we begin the waning moon process. For some the time between our fullest day and the last sliver of moonlight will last many years.  Yet others the waning days of life will move rapidly by. Some will be ready when that last day comes and others will be struggling to stay just a little longer as they draw their last  breath.  In those last days of life we surround ourselves with memories, family and the friends we have made in this life.  They reflect back to us the love and joy that we gave to them during our lives.  We allow ourselves to embrace the warmth of that love and joy as  last of our life’s moon fades away.

Written in honor of my dear friend Barb Dutton, who we were so blessed to have known.   You will be missed.