Overcoming Fear

Our Neighbor’s Horses

I am afraid of horses.  I have a childhood memory of being hoisted up onto a very large horse.   I have to assume it was a draft horse up on Aunt Evelyn’s farm. I don’t remember any details but fear.  That fear clouds my judgement to this day.

To learn to groom a horse , saddle one including reaching under it to tighten its belt and sit on one as it walks around the pen is on my personal life list.  I  am not anywhere close to crossing it off my list. I am working on my fear this year with the horses that we run on our pasture in the early summer each year.  They will be here for about a month or so.   They are very  friendly and tame.  When they leave here they go and  spend the summer ridden by family friends and children.   They are smart about people and have learned how to be gentle with those who are less experienced.   They are a prefect learning experience for me.

During the time there are here I am working on petting them.  Once I master that my next goal is to be in the pasture with them and not pray that they stay in the far corner and will not notice me.  One step at a time.

As I write this it sounds nothing short of pure foolishness that I let this childhood fear still drive me 50 years later but it does.   Remember this all you parents when you put your scream with fear child on Santa’s lap.

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3 comments on “Overcoming Fear

  1. I learned to appreciate horses when my daughter started to ride. I was so fearful! But I learned to appreciate and admire them and my daughter taught me a great deal. I got to where I can pick a hoof or groom, etc….though I still do not ride. In fact, I wrote so many poems about these experiences that I have apoetry collection entirely devoted to learning about horses through my daughter. Horses taught me a lot about myself–same as for you!

  2. I so understand this. A horse bit me when I was a wee one, and all I see when I look at them is big, bitey teeth. Being able to groom and ride a horse is on my life list, too. They are really such sensitive creatures. Good luck on your personal challenge.

  3. I totally identify with this! It took me years to understand why I was afraid of horses. As a child in rural Ireland we had two horses which my father taught us how to ride and jump and whilst living in Spain with my mother, between the ages of 11-14 I rode horses every day! We took the tourists out on their mountain treks!!! We rode on the beach and in the fields. It is my one memory of a feeling of total freedom!
    As an adult however I am scared of them. I feel that they are unpredictable and can hurt me. (Much like my experience of men I guess). I tried for years to understand what this fear was. I even took riding lessons, and was fine until we went on a ride which I was not ready for and it put me off completely. I felt like I had no control!
    Then I looked into Equine assisted Psychotherapy (http://eponaquest.com). I began to look at the horse as my teacher and find out what my perceptions really applied to.
    When I was 16 yrs my younger sister, who had lived with me in Spain, died in a horse-box accident. She was 14.She and a friend were in the horse-box taking a couple of them to the local horse fair in Goresbridge. The man who owned the trailer didn’t want them to be in it but they insisted and he caved! It was a very basic horse-box with no separation between horse and human. Whilst driving up a steep hill the horse box hitch detached itself from the car and went careening done the hill, crashing into a wall at the bottom. When the box hit the wall one of the horses stumbled, obviously, and hit his head against my sister’s chest. She was winded but otherwise OK…or so it appeared. The ambulance was called but my sister was DOA. When the horse butted her he broke a chest rib and severed her artery and she bled to death internally.
    When I looked at my fear of horses it seems so obvious now, but I am afraid of their heads. They seem so big.
    There were other issues which still effect my life as a result of this accident and which I struggle to change but they have become encapsulated in the symbol of the horse! Relationships and horses are now the same thing in my unconscious!
    Here in my husbands’ home in Luxor we have a donkey and he is helping me to overcome much of my fear! I want to get a young horse and raise it in a therapeutic way so that I ‘know it’. It isn’t a stranger, unpredictable and dangerous! Like you, I am hoping to overcome this fear. I so want to ride again!
    Anyway, thanks for posting that. I had a dream last night that I was riding a horse last night but he represents my unstoppable husband!!! Good synchronicity finding your blog! Hope you achieve your freedom from fear. Keep blogging your journey. I’d love to hear how you get on!

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