Today my father passed away at 3am. I don’t know that I really knew him. He wasn’t significantly involved in my life while I was growing up (that is a different story and a different blog). Finding a relationship with your father that began as an adult is different. It isn’t a Daddy relationship, but it isn’t a friend relationship either. You get to pick your friends, you don’t get to pick your father.
So with all that history or lack of, what do you talk about? We didn’t talk often. For us it was world order and politics. My father was a career military man, and I know he was proud of that service. He had served for more than 20 years, and had seen the world. He had listened to the “Russians” during the cold war and watched the US go in the war on terrorism.
We would never talk about my 6th birthday or my graduation from high school, but we would spend many a discussion on world politics. We talked about who each of us thought was the most dangerous leader in the world, his choice was Kim Jong-il of North Korea . We discussed our political views and often we would agree on policy but disagree on who was best to carry it out. Other times we would be polar opposites on policy, and we were never going to agree and left it at that. It was fun to have those lively talks. He had such insights that I would never have. It was listening to him and how he reached that point of view that I enjoyed. It gave us that moment of respect and closeness. Not your regular father daughter, but our father & daughter.